- Publish Date
- Thursday, 3 August 2017, 4:54PM
Us New Zealanders, we're a pretty easy going bunch of people, most would say some of the nicest you'll ever meet! There are always some international guests, that know exactly what to say to get classic Kiwi lad or lass going.
So we've compiled our own list of things you should probably hold your tongue on when having a good old chinwag with a New Zealander.
1. "Have you shagged any sheep lately?"
We've started with the classic line, YES! We're a country a s*** load of sheep, NO! We don't fornicate with them...that we know of, but still, sheep shagging topics, OFF THE LIST!
2. "Ritchie McCaw sucks"
How dare you! Richie McCaw is a national treasure! If it weren't for the position of God's son being occupied by Jesus, we would've thought he was the next best thing! You may remember back to the 'Ritchetty Grub' fiasco before the 2015 Rugby World Cup final. You could ask the Aussies how that went down for them...
3. "It's thong (or flip flops) not Jandal!"
Don't you EVEN DARE!!!!! First off, we were the smart ones who smartly named the convenient piece of footwear Jandals, that we don't (and now the world) will not be left so confused when you're in the middle of a decent conversation about the beach and won't confuse your feetwear and bikini wear. You're welcome...
4. "But didn't the Aussies invent the Pavlova?"
The quickest way to a hiding, refer to option 4! The long standing debate, where did the pavlova come from, as far as we're concerned, New Zealand...Nuff said.
5. "Hmmm...New Zealand? You guys are a part of Australia right?"
No...No we are not! We're like the little brother who looked up to our big brother only to realise we didn't want to be like that, so we became really cool...and better at Rugby...and almost most other sports...pretty much everything.
6. "2007 was a great year for you guys aye?"
Don't EVER mention 2007...It's still too raw for us. As far as we're concerned, it goes 2005, 2006, 2008 and so on and so forth. Pfffft...it was a forward pass!
7. Finally "Vegemite is way better than Marmite?
If you ever say this, don't ever contact us, you will be forever known as Dave (mate, mate, mate, Dave). Marmite is the best EVER!